Amanda

Amanda

Is not the type of girl

Who needs to sit back

And analyze a situation

Before concluding on

 A decision

Amanda

Is the type of girl

Who enjoys a good conversation

But won’t pretend to have one

 

Amanda

Does not think all that much

In the sense

Where she knows immediately

What decision to make

And the process of her

Additional consideration

Is merely an excuse

To further cement her position

 

She is not the type of girl

To fall for any tricks

She values genuine people and generosity

 

Being a pretty girl

A fact of which she is aware

There were many opportunities

For dates

In high school

But Amanda was known to focus

Mostly on her studies

Her dream of being a teacher

Coming before any other

Superfluous endeavor

 

No

Amanda did not consider herself boring

She simply believed

In time well spent

Instead of wasted

She never asked questions in class

Paying attention when it was said the first time

During gym class she just shot free throws

By herself

Refusing to stop until she made fifteen in a row

A loner?

Well

Amanda never thought of it that way

She had a close relationship with her parents

But lonely?

Maybe, maybe

Nahhh

 

Look, it wasn’t like she didn’t have friends

Sometimes she just had trouble relating

When Julie, for instance

Her closest teenage confidant

Would cry

Actually cry

Can you believe it?

About her boyfriend doing something

Repulsive, or even a little insensitive

Why, Amanda would have to fight the urge to say

“Are you stupid? Don’t you know Pete by now?

Pete is a screw-up. Pete screws up.

That’s what he does.”

Instead of doing that

Saying that

Though

Amanda would remain silent and let her friend

Talk

She was called a good listener

Appreciated that, though sometimes she

Just read books while they aired telephone confessions

 

As time moved along

And Amanda’s dream of being

In charge of a classroom grew closer

She began pondering the big picture

Far more than she used to

It seemed at the onset of her twenties

All those mistakes of bought on by

Overthinking and rationalizing committed

By her friends suddenly became

Accidents she could relate to

Amanda concluded we all just want a reason

To believe. Even if we have to look

Within the wrong people.

Was it worth the effort?

She did not know

So in her senior year of college she played along

Opened up

Drank some beer

Made some mistakes

Questioned everything

Lost focus

Dated two liars in a row

The second one really broke her heart

She hated herself for going against

Everything she used to believe in

And ironically, full circle

Sobbed about it on the phone to Julie

Who had followed Pete to Los Angeles

She felt better when Julie explained

Pete’s latest crimes

 

It was right around this time

That she was dragged to an indie rock concert

In a bar, off campus

Grimy as it gets

At the last minute she decided to go

And that night

She met a man

Who seemed incapable of telling a lie

He was without pretension

Obviously nervous everywhere

Except on the stage where she first saw him

Henry, Amanda

On the surface

 All wrong for each other,

But they knew better

Suddenly

Life’s happening!

All those plans

Are real

And it doesn’t feel perfect

Though that’s fine

Amanda is the type of girl

Who couldn’t understand

When fate interceded

With a reversal

So cruel

She lost a part of herself

And shut the world down

Refusing to deal with a place

Capable of such

Inexplicable meanness

Henry quit his band

Quit telling the truth, too

Here we are

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About mw2828

I am a writer currently working out of the New York area. https://mythandmist.wordpress.com/ View all posts by mw2828

4 responses to “Amanda

  • Worldly Winds

    Wow – I really like ‘Amanda’. I can see elements of myself and my friends within.
    It has an innocence and an edginess. I like it very much.

    • mw2828

      thanks for your comment! I wrote this for an actress who was supposed to play this character in a short film. The project fell apart, sadly. Hopefully I can get it off the ground at some point in the future.

      • Worldly Winds

        Oh it would make a fantastic short film.

        I am an interpreter and I have just been working with some MA students last week. This is the third shoot I have been involved in and I thoroughly enjoy it – hard work but always an adventure!

      • mw2828

        that’s fantastic… yeah we started shooting and it was really a blast, unfortunately a couple of cast members dropped out. Good luck with all that cool stuff!

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