Alright… alright… I’m a fool. I admit it. But hear me out.
So this was a few years ago. Back when the journey first began.
I was walking down the street and feeling relatively good about myself.
I hid very little, aware that deception is a practice concocted by thieves.
My tendency toward honesty was deemed a character flaw; by those who confused superfluity and substance.
Inherent knowledge was a neat trick, but I eventually sold it off for some sunglasses.
This proved a poor decision, hindsight wise.
I never considered myself a thief though. Never really found anything worth stealing.
May have been my saving grace.
So there I was, staring at the world from fifty different perspectives.
This naturally presented challenges, like pupil strain.
Anyway, I’m walking along whistling.
Loud fire trucks are passing by.
And, lo and behold, this monster comes crawling out of a gutter.
Spotted his furry hand first.
He was holding a business card.
Monster man claimed to be in real estate and sold me a brochure concerning the powerlessness of the individual on outpost earth.
I hadn’t considered my own uselessness before, and was naturally intrigued by new, radical ideas.
Man, those words really flipped my wig.
But it was really an elongated slogan of a commercial aired by a network owned by a company that sells distraction.
Of course that master plan was all in fine print.
Had I known that at the time… gosh! But salesmen can be persuasive.
We thought these phones and cars and sounds equaled something greater than an empty destiny prophesized by a cardboard cutout outlining false promises about immortality.
Turns out the sales vampires had nothing substantial to offer, but, fully invested in a broken game and unwilling to philosophize about the grand implications of this dastardly scheme, we either slumped toward numbness or begged for apathy.
I thought I woke up, but really I fell asleep, into this deep dark nightmare where friends became enemies and money mattered more than conscience.
Everything looked different. The fun house mirrors held a new sheen of legitimacy. Like I could punch myself in the face and consider it a reasonable decision.
Being in a nightmare, I naturally sought to protect myself.
So I hid behind a wall, shielding an image that was really the formless shadow of a ghost.
This was all very complicated, so naturally I deemed it simple.
I was difficult to know, even in glass.
Believing in that damn brochure bought me to all sorts of crazy places; even caused a case of amnesia. I forgot truth even existed.
In fact, I began calling my truest emotions “deep.”
I’d say, “that’s deep,” upon spotting a fleeting glimpse of reality.
“That’s deep”, an impenetrable deep, kept those inconvenient feelings at bay, pushed them aside, inaccessible and beyond my powerless self.
They can convince us that we are stupid. Unbelievable… but true, unfortunately.
I was a zombie, well fed, misled, and determined to impress a culture already dead.
But wouldn’t you know it, quitting is a very popular statement.
We celebrated by agreeing with each other about the overriding pointlessness of the universe at lifeless masquerade parties.
Fools attending these galas were beat up for handing out pamphlets concerning alarm clocks…
Passive participants in life are often the most violent.
And, ah, the fool! He was key. I met him. He was me… kind of anyway.
He changed my mind. Recited to me this essay about the importance of individuality.
I rebutted him coolly and calmly, but he had all these questions of his own that I had never even considered.
I posited to this goof, I said to him, “Why is something?”
And he says back, the fool I mean, “Reality is where you have directed your consciousness. That you can control.”
At this point, the epiphany hit.
I’d spend the remainder of this ground bound excursion searching for my own reality, instead of simply existing in someone else’s lie.
I would share that search with others… just in case they became inspired enough to seek the journey that is their birthright.
Stumbling would be inevitable. But defeat is not.
It was a lot to process, but luckily, the fool left behind.