The Sad Pharaoh

I can’t keep anything in perspective.


I am either flying high


Or coughing up pebble decorated mud


Oh, I’m tired also tired a lot


I’ve been reading a lot


These writers can really write


Maybe one day, I can write like them


With detail and accuracy


I am a work in progress, and I could use more sleep


They seem so complete, in my head, awake, too


I’m entrapped by this urge


To jump off the train


As it speeds to my destination


Where am I going?


I do not know


And the unknown drives me to the edge


I get so lonesome sometimes


I want a solution when my life is bothering me


My tunnel vision distractions


Easy rushes and fifty flavors of dissatisfaction


Do not ease my burden


That emerald answer keeps floating further away


I get so lonesome sometimes


I get so vengeful


So mean and hateful


If someone I know has a hint of


What society has deemed success:


I get jealousy woes


I feel my emptiness expanding


I am a black hole


Wishing a similar unhappiness for you


Don’t get ahead of me


Don’t escape my force field of hate


It’s me breathing, it’s me feeling, but it hurts


I see a universe written on your face


In braille, and I can never touch you


My heart desires space


And secretly hopes to let you go


Allow your planet to float away


And be a mystery, like the carousel


Of life and death


You own your life


Your experiences are yours


Your perceived success and failures


It has nothing to do with me


And that’s beautiful


But writing lines and thinking thoughts isn’t living


And I can’t relate to myself, sometimes


When I want to admonish her for flirting with


a rapper, instead of yours truly, and lecture her


On the true meaning of expression, and own her


And control her and eventually leave her coughing dust


Swept up from the storm


I want her on her knees, thanking me for even giving her a thought


This is honest, I’d say


Nothing more than worship would do for me, I think


As I zero in on the slightest scent of negativity


Worship me, I say


I say, I am the creative one


And be impressed


I say I am the attractive one. Be attracted.


I say I am the one who understands. Understand?


I say I am the only one who ever existed, I share this world with nobody


It’s lonely and unholy


Am I the only one who feels this way?


Am I the only sad pharaoh walking the streets of Manhattan?


I say


There is no stopping the ego


It will consume me, it will ruin me, and bizarrely


For it’s every inconvenience, it will occasionally save me


With promises of romance and sweet mysterious fingertips


Upon my face on a future date


I get confused, sure do


You save me, in the next breath


The person near me


Who sent a smooth fire wave up my spine,


By my side


I want to apologize to my breath


For placing my self-worth into


Inhuman and incapable arms




I want to say congratulations, to the stranger


Who just thought I was strange


I was in love, you didn’t know


I was strange, I suppose


It was all so strange


About mw2828

I am a writer currently working out of the New York area. View all posts by mw2828

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